The Lollipop List
by little miss unexpected
Summary: Yachiru had some lollipops, wanna know what they do? They make you fall in love with someone, mainly the person that likes you, so you can guess what she did with them. i was gunna make a different one, and i think i will... it will just be humor though
1. Byakuya really just doesnt like Ikkaku

**The Lollipop List.**

Yachiru had some lollipops, wanna know what they do? They make you fall in love with someone, mainly the person that likes you, so you can guess what she did with them.

_Yachirus lollipop list:_

_Byakuya Hayuri_

_Renji Nel Nel_

_Ichigo Rukia_

_Kenny Hany_

_Quincy Nemu_

_Izuru Momo_

_Grimmy Bee_

_Batty Hime_

_Big guy Ran-Chan_

_Shuuhei Sun Sun_

Hmm… Byaku-shi will be in his office, with Hayuri. Hmm… yes, first target, locked in! And off the little devil ran, preparing a lovely lot of mischief.

Byakuya had no idea what he had gotten him self into when he entered his office, nor did he notice that he was in even more trouble when he began his two usual tasks that he completed in the office; paperwork (Groan) and staring at his very attractive lieutenant, Hayuri, Renji had been made captain of 3rd squad. Was he condemned to fall for people who aren't nobles? Life just wasn't fair, and he knew that she had a small thing for the 3rd seat of the 11th division, she was always with him, laughing and joking, that was the time she was always so happy. He would never ever admit it, not even to him self, he was damn jealous.

Yachiru could hardly contain her glee, she innocently wandered up to the office and knocked. "Come in lieutenant Yachiru." Came the stoic command from Byakuya as she wandered innocently in.

_Damn… she has the innocent look, wonder what she's up to now, that look never means anything good._ Byakuya thought as Yachiru walked over to his lieutenants desk.

"Hayuri-san, can I see what your doing?"

"I'm doing my paperwork lieutenant Yachiru…" Hayuri said nervously, she had a bad feeling about this, especially as Yachiru came uncomfortably close. Hayuri was expecting Yachiru to do something like spit in her face, but instead she shoved a lollipop in her mouth and shunpo-ed out as fast as she could.

She took the lollipop out of her mouth and surveyed it nervously, looking for some indication of what the thing was meant to do. Hayuri looked helplessly at her captain for clues, the man in question simply shrugged and returned to his paperwork. But Hayuri just stared at her captain. And stared… and stared some more.

Byakuya had the feeling that Hayuri had been staring at him for quite some time, so he looked up, and indeed she was. But as soon as he made eye contact she blinked those beautiful turquoise eyes with a start and returned to her work, a pink tinge to her cheeks.

Byakuya suppressed a sigh, wishing that he could have stared into her eyes longer, continued his work for the rest of the day in silence.

"_sigh _I'm so happy that there isn't anymore conflict with the Erementaru and the shinigami, aren't you?" not waiting for her captain to answer, Hayuri rambled on, finally reaching the subject that made him want to blow up half the soul society; Ikkaku. The very mention of the name made his brows twitch slightly, but when it was spoken by Hayuri in that admiring voice, filled with affection that was meant to be for him, his whole face visibly darkened.

Noticing the sudden change in her captain, she inquired as to the source of his troubles.

"Nothing is wrong, vice captain Kisotu." He said in a monotone voice, but Hayuri knew him to well, and could tell but the deepness in his monotone voice and by the use of her full title that something was very much wrong, and she was now determined to find out.

_Faze one: Jealous noble-bum, complete!_

_SUCCESS! _

_Now that Byaku-shi is getting Riri-chan, I think Ran-Chan needs some love, that isn't sake_. Looking at her list, Yachiru sped off in the direction of the 11th divisions training ground in search on Big Guy (Chad).

Chad froze. Did he see a flash of pink hair? Yes, and the owner of the pink hair was standing in front of him with the sweetest smile ever and a horrifying glint of mischief in her chocolate brown eyes. _Damn her and her cuteness,_ Chad had a thing for cuteness… (not in a predatory way, that's kinda gross) but either way, he couldn't say no when she asked him to take her for a walk.

"why do you want me to come?" asked the usually quiet Chad.

"Well… I just wanted to go for a walk, and I didn't want to go alone. That's all." she said innocently, directing him along the rout towards the 10th divisions quarters, it was about the time Rangiku and Hitsugaya left the office.

"Wait here please, there's something I need to get."

Chad grunted his approval, and watched suspiciously as Yachiru sped off.

_Haha, iv got those two now, this will probably go faster than expected, cause Ran-Chan's… Ran-Chan._ Soon, she bumped into the subject of her thoughts and her captain.

"Oh Ran-Chan! I was just looking for you! Can you come with me? There's something I need to do, and I would like it a lot if you helped me."

"Uhh.. all right? Is that ok with you, captain?" Rangiku asked.

"Ok, but don't be late for work tomorrow!" replied Hitsugaya.

That was all Yachiru needed, and she was dragging Rangiku off to where she had left Chad. Reaching her destination, she reached into her uniform and grasped one of her evil, evil, yet not that bad lollipops, preparing to shove it in Rangiku's mouth and run, she looked between them and mentally noted how good they looked together and smiled.

"Yachiru wha-?" Rangiku was cut off as the lollipop was roughly rammed into her mouth, and spluttered as the little pink haired girl ran off into the distance. Still coughing, she managed to remove the sweet from her mouth and gave Chad a smile of appreciation as he patted her on the back.

"Thanks. Man, that girl, I'm a bit worried about this lollipop, Yachiru doesn't usually give away candy…"

when Chad grunted his response, she looked up at him, and just seemed to notice how attractive he was. Chad was tall, strong, and had nice tan skin, and soft wavy hair. She didn't notice Yumichika and Ikkaku snickering behind a wall as they prepared their assault.

SPLAT!

_oh dear… not my uniform_ Rangiku thought as more mud hit her, but she then thought… mud? Mud and… hugs! Oh no, bad luck for Yumichika and Ikkaku, they both got a very muddy hug of death, and stumbled away in defeat.

"Urgh, bastards, they ruined my uniform." Mused Rangiku. "And I don't have a washing machine, I'll have to go to captains house to wash them again. What fun." She seemed to be talking to herself, but Chad couldn't help listening.

"you can use my machine if you want?"

"Really? Thanks! You're a life saver!"

"Its nothing."

Chad watched Rangiku as they walked back to his apartment, taking in her beauty as she rambled on about how she hated paperwork. He pulled out his keys and let them into his apartment door, turning on the light, he lead Rangiku into his small living area and pointed her in the direction of the shower, he told her he would give her some clothes that she could borrow. Hayuri, who was his adopted sister, often crashed at his place, so he had a whole pile of her stuff in his spare room and he didn't think that she would mind if he lent some of her clothes to Rangiku, seeing as they were best friends and all and did it anyway.

When Chad walked back into his living room to hand Rangiku the clothes through the bathroom door, he didn't expect to see her sitting on his couch clad only in a towel.

"Oh, I ahh… uhh… sorry!" he quickly threw the clothes on the couch next to her and exited the room hastily. He had no idea the Rangiku was getting things in her head about him, and nearly fainted of shock as she walked into his room in her underwear and the pants he leant her seemingly she didn't think she needed the shirt. Rangiku walked over to him and gently pushed him back further up his bed smiling seductively, she felt like laughing at the shock on Chad's face as she came closer, her tan legs gliding smoothly over his own,

"Ahh Rangiku-chan, don't you think this is.. a bad idea? I mean, what would people say?"

"Oh they wont say anything, they don't need to know, or is it you don't want to, are you to scared? Sigh, I thought you were more of a man than that!" she sat up, gracefully planting her bottom on his lap and the worlds cutest pout on her face.

It took a lot to make Chad angry, but questioning his manliness was one quick simple way there, and upon hearing Rangiku's remark, he immediately felt the need to prove himself. And so he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into a fiery kiss, licking her lips as if to ask permission to enter. Permission granted, his tongue exploring her mouth as his hands roamed along her sides, her pants were beginning to annoy him, he got easily annoyed when he started this type of thing, so he pulled them down a bit just as he realised that his shirt was just to damn _there,_ and it seemed Rangiku had gotten the same idea and helped him struggle out of it. They rolled over, this time with Chad on top quickly pressing their mouths together like he couldn't bare to be away from her for more than a minute.

Things went kinda fast from there and soon later Rangiku was lying with her head on his chest still slightly sweaty, but very happy, smiling as she felt Chad run his fingers through her strawberry blond hair. It had been a long time since she had felt like this, like nothing mattered but the man lying next to her.

_Yet another success on Yachirus part! (she had a feeling they were all going to be successes… because the retarded author of this story like happily ever afters XD)_

_Operation: a little bit of TLC= complete!_

_Hey, hope you like it, i'll try make the chapters a little longer in the future, and i need a little inspiration to keep writing... that is, if you want me to, hope you like my OC, i have a few others, but she's my favorite! i might write on with her and Grimmjow... hehe, I'm the worlds biggest Grimmjow fan-girl...  
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	2. Sake, chocolate and morning baths

Lollipop list chapter two, Sake, chocolate, and morning baths!

Back to Byaku-shi!

"No really captain, what's wrong? You look like your about to murder someone! Did Renji propose? Did Ichigo kiss Rukia? Did someone actually beat you? On second thoughts, that's pretty much impossible!"

Letting out a sigh, Byakuya proceeded to answer her questions, "No, Abari-taichou has not proposed, I do not think he would appreciate you calling him gay, if Ichigo had kissed Rukia, he would not be breathing at this point in time and no, someone had not recently beaten me. But yes, I am angry and I would certainly like to murder someone, but I do not think Kenpachi taichou would appreciate it."

"Hmm, why Kenpachi taichou? Oh, I know! Yachiru has pranked you again, hasn't she?"

"No, it has nothing to do with Yachiru." Was she really this oblivious? He felt like saying, he also felt like screaming; _I want to murder that piece of shit Ikkaku!_ But that was certainly out of the question so he would have to notify her some other way. _Ahh, I have an idea, brilliant. _

"lieutenant Hayuri, would you like to come to my house for dinner?"

"WHA- hummh, sure captain, will you tell me what's wrong if I do?"

"Of course."

So they headed off towards the Kuchiki estate with Hayuri babbling on happily completely, oblivious to Yachiru's plan, and Byakuya's plan too.

"It is this way, Hayuri-san." Byakuya said as Hayuri tried to go the wrong way for the fifth time.

"Oh… sorry Kuchiki-taichou! Maybe I'll walk behind you so I don't go the wrong way again… hehe." She muttered as she slowed her pace so she was slightly behind Byakuya.

"That will not be necessary, if you were to fall completely behind and get lost, that would cause unnecessary delay, just walk beside me and pay a little more attention."

Byakuya watched as Hayuri ran to walk beside him and inwardly smiled, she was so pretty but she was wasted on Ikkaku. He placed a hand on the small of her back and guided her down the hall towards the dining room.

As they sat down the servants placed the delicious smelling foods on the table, Byakuya nearly laughed at the look of amazement on her face at the quality of the dishes, and actually laughed as she tried to use chop-sticks with her broken hand. Because of something in her blood, healing kidou wouldn't work on her and she now found it difficult to use basic utensils and other things.

"Would you like some help with that?"

Byakuya inwardly chuckled, _this was going to be fun, _he got up and walked around the table, smirking at the bewildered look on his lieutenants face. He sat down beside her and removed the chop-sticks from her hands, seeing that she was to shocked to receive the piece of chicken that he was offering her, he mischievously flopped it across her nose.

"_Captain! Why'd you do that?"_ Hayuri whined.

"Because you weren't paying attention. Now, open up."

"Hmmph. No."

"And why not?"

"Because it's… it just doesn't feel right."

"Hayuri… would you like me to answer your question?"

"Well… yes… fine. But don't tell anyone! Please?"

"ok, now. Open up!"

Byakuya carefully placed the food in her mouth, then repeated the process a few more times. He was beginning to feel a little thirsty and came up with another ludicrous plan.

"Hayuri, are you thirsty? I myself are feeling a little parched. Would you like a drink? Sake perhaps?"

Hayuri eyed his suspiciously, he was up to something, but she couldn't think what. (stupid Hayuri)

"Ok… if you feel like it…"

Hitsugaya sighed, Matsumoto had yet another shipload of chocolates and gifts from the human world, _again._ And she had given an enormous box to him, in addition to the multiple other ones she had already given him. _What to do with them, her and everything else?_ He thought. He had heard earlier that Byakuya Kuchiki very much enjoyed chocolate, and so decided to give them to him, and what better time than the present?

Toshiro Hitsugaya had seen many a drunk person in his years as Matsumoto's captain, but never had he expected to see Byakuya Kuchiki drop dead drunk, more so, with his fun loving but innocent Vice captain, Hayuri. So when he walked in and saw Byakuya having a rather messy food fight with Hayuri, he almost died of shock.

"I-I-I Wha- _never mind!_" Hitsugaya stuttered dropping the box of chocolate and running out of the room as fast as possible.

"Wha' was tha' 'bou?" Hayuri said in a voice slurred with liquor.

"Dunno, but he lef' us some choshola's! Aweshome!" Grinned Byakuya, who picked up the box and pulled on out.

"Open up honey!"

Byakuya pushed the sweet into his vice captains mouth, and accidently, on his part anyway, got his fingers stuck in between her lips.

God knows what they got up to next, but they ended up waking up the next day with massive hang over's and absolutely no idea where they were. After a while, the decided they had somehow ended up in Byakuya's basement bathroom, with Hayuri lying in the bathtub on top of Byakuya, and even though Byakuya wasn't complaining about their current position, Hayuri felt a little awkward, so, attempting to move, realised that her clothes had… torn, whilst on their drunken rampage the night before.

"You know you should take better care of you possessions Hayuri-san." Byakuya murmured, he felt that if he spoke any louder, his voice would kill his ears, and on top of that, he could feel Hayuri sitting on him, quite… well, if that is the best way to describe it. Her toned calves rested along his shoulders, and her thighs ran down his chest. He could especially feel her buttocks pressed against his stomach, and her back resting on his legs… this was getting a little out of hand for him, and he was beginning to worry.

"I know Kuchiki-taichou, I know, but its not my fault… _flying donkey balls! Where did the rest of my uniform go?_ She cried, realising that it only consisted on one sleeve, one leg, and a small bit between, luckily her underwear was still intact, but that was about it. She blushed bright red and tried to move away from her captain only to see that his clothes were just as damaged, if not more damaged than her own.

The funny thing was that he had managed to keep his precious scarf in one piece, whilst only one side of his uniform bottoms remained. She giggled at the sight, but blushed even more when she caught Byakuya looking at her.

"Pervert." Hayuri stated bluntly.

"As are you." Byakuya stated even more bluntly.

This was going to be a long day…

_Seems like Byaku-shi is doing goodies! _

_I wanna see Bee-chan be happy! I think she likes Grimmy! Ok, here we go!_

_(A/N) Hey, I hope you like the story so far… ish, I know its not that great, and I might not update for a while, I just need the inspiration, and a lot of constructive criticism, I'm going to make another one, but… a little different, it will be the one where… jokes, I'm not giving it away! Hehe, don't worry, it will be good… I hope! Anyways, review please! _


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